Oh, baby baby!

Sooo,
It's been QUITE a while since my last post. And by quite a while, I mean over a year. Time flies when you're having fun, I guess!

So many things have happened in this past year. I am completely overwhelmed at how much God has carried us through & all that He has blessed us with! The main blessing being that my husband & I are expecting our first baby in January!

We are beyond excited & can hardly wait for this little bundle of joy to come & fill our lives. It will be the biggest transition yet in our marriage & lives thus far, & although I can't say we feel prepared, we are completely ready to be parents & experience this wonderful new chapter book in our lives!

Hopefully this blog will morph along with our family & become a place where pictures & events of & in our family will be captured, stored, shared, documented, etc.

Details of our baby: I am 16 1/2 weeks along, & feeling more & more uncomfortable as "baby O" or "Teek" grows & develops. Even though this baby is not even half way through it's gestation, it is amazing to think he/she already has all it's working parts & just needs time to grow bigger & stronger! God's design in creating human life is TRULY amazing!

We lovingly & affectionately call our baby "Teek" for many reasons. Teek is short for Teekvah, which is the Hebrew word for Hope. We chose this name because we had been trying for a baby for 7 months before we found out we were expecting, FINALLY! It was hard on me to wait & be content with where God had us for that long when my heart's desire was to have a baby, but I am so glad He brought me to a place where I truly trusted Him & His timing. All in God's timing... Psalm 18:30 says "His way is perfect"...

We are holding on to that verse as we prepare for a Winter baby in the Midwest. Okay Lord, we believe You when You say Your way is perfect. Trusting. =)

I can feel our baby moving & grooving in utero already! I felt him/her move for the first time on my birthday. It was a GREAT birthday present! It's such sweet blessed assurance of the life that's developing & growing. I LOVE to feel the baby move... It's like nothing else I've ever experienced!

We can't wait for our 2nd Sonogram to see the baby! Our first was at week 6. Still too little to see any physical features or hear a heartbeat, but we were able to see the baby at one of it's tiniest tadpole-esqe stages & see the heart beating... thump, thump, thump, thump. SO COOL!

We decided long ago, way before we talked about trying for a family, that we did not want to find out the gender of our baby. We both love surprises, although I probably more than my husband, but we thought there are so few good surprises in life that are good, that this is one that we could just let be.

The excitement & thrill of waiting till that moment right after he/she is born & the announcement of what the gender is, is what keeps me positive in moments of weakness when I don't feel very good or "just want the baby here now".

We've caught a lot of flack from extended family & friends about waiting to find out the gender, which I think is a bit unreasonable for them to voice their opinions so negatively, but it hasn't swayed or persuaded us to find out. In fact, it's mostly just fueled our fire to wait! (This would be my defiant, strong-willed side coming out) I think it's funny when they ask "How will you decorate the nursery if you don't know if it's a boy or a girl?" & "How on earth will you clothe your child?" & say things like "You do realize people will just get you colors like yellow & green & gray & brown for all your showers, right?"... The list goes on.

My response: We like neutral colors & have no problem buying the basic things in neutrals & just waiting till the baby is here to decorate the nursery to be more gender specific with things that can be changed out easily if we have a different gender baby down the road. We don't want to have to buy all new things anyways for our other future children. Also, we plan on having most of the showers be after the baby is here. It's more fun that way too so others get a chance to hold & meet the baby!

And just what do you suppose our parents & parent's parents did to clothe their children without knowing what gender it is before the baby was born? Hmmm... =)

I guess I just like the "old fashioned way" of doing things. Okay, I'm off my soapbox. Just wanted others to have an idea of our point of view without being haggled for making the choice that we made.

*Note: I in no way am against those who choose to find out the gender of their baby, we might do that for a future child. We have simply just made the decision not to this time around.

Anyways, we are over the moon about welcoming this new, precious little life into our hearts & home! We view it as a gift & blessing from God! Again, I stand in awe of His wonderful creation & the life that He has given me!

Since Teek can hear now, these songs are ones I want him/her to hear... They are things we will instill in our baby's life.

Life is frail

Lately, "life" has been on my mind. Many thoughts about it; living, the business of being born, one's last moments on earth, dying, heaven, hell, and the life we lead in between our beginning & end.

I know, not exactly light, but I have a tendency to ponder the things that I don't completely understand. It helps me to form either opinions about the subject in question or to form deeper questions to ask myself, others, God...

Many people I know have been having babies lately, there is a Christian family I know that just recently lost their 18 year old daughter to a random, deadly infection/disease that overcame her body unexpectedly, my Grandpa is not in good health & he is about to, Lord willing, see his 90th birthday in a month, one of my friends miscarried her 10 week old baby this past week...

You see, this is why I have been pondering these things. They are weighing heavily on my heart. Life is such a blessing. Death too, can be a blessing, if you know where you're going & you've accepted Christ.

However, fear of the unknown is real. My thought & conclusion on that... God is bigger. He is more powerful, & fear has no room in my mind, heart, home, life.

What about you? Have you ever thought about birth, life & death?

I know this is random, but I would like to know your thoughts... Life is messy, & sometimes in my need to organize things I get these ideas in my head about "changing the world" & "fitting the mold"... In all honesty, I'm glad God didn't make us to fit a mold. We are created in His image!!!! That's an AWESOME thought!

Okay, enough babbling for one day... Maybe this will make you think about the things that truly matter in life. I am. I am thinking... mulling over... praising my Creator!

Life is good, my friends!

          

To be content, or not to be, that is the question...

After going to Nicaragua, I have been plagued with an ever-present thought about whether or not I am truly content.

While in Nicaragua, I read these verses during my quiet time early on in the week. It grasped hold of my heart as I had seen such poverty stricken people living in joy & love just hours before reading this.

The verses are found in Philippians 4:11-13

They say "For I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, & I also know how to live in prosperity; in any & every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled & going hungry, both of having abundance & suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me."

It hit me after many years of knowing the last sentence of scripture, the context that it was written in. Somehow knowing that changed the way I thought about the verse.

I have a very finite mind. But, thanks to God's perfect timing, I really learned the lesson of being content in EVERY circumstance I am. Whether that be true poverty, or in prosperity. And being content I have also learned is finding joy in my God, no matter the life I have been given. No matter the type of living situation I am in. No matter the people that I have brought into or out of my life.

True contentment is being able to praise the Lord in every situation... On command, or not! By choosing to bring glory & praise to my Father always I am building a strong testimony for Him. It is a blessing to Him & others around you when you are content.

So, a hard lesson to learn... Or at least for me. But a lesson I won't quickly forget. It might have taken God taking me to Nicaragua to see that, but He is faithful & loving & patient!

Loving Him & placing my footsteps carefully into His as I walk along this journey we call life, is one way I can please Him. Thankfully I don't have to worry about repaying Him for loving me, because I can't! He paid the ultimate sacrifice for me, puarely because He loves me!

I don't know about you, but that is the only God I want to serve. I count it all joy, my friends!

Is your heart truly content in your situations in life right now? How about yesterday, or 2 months ago, or 10 years ago?

Make the choice to be content & trust Him! He's waiting lovingly & patiently to show you what it means to be His follower.

Blessings to you all today!

Oh YEAH!

I am so pumped to go on this missions trip to Nicaragua!!!

I can't even tell you! And our journey so far, even before we go, has been such a blessing a learning experience.

I should expect God to do...... these things... But I know I don't really, fully & completely expect it because otherwise I wouldn't be surprised every time He comes through!

We are now fully funded for our trip, & any other moneys that we collect will be donated specifically toward Kaitlyn & Darby. We are just so blessed.

Thank you to all who have acted monetarily in supporting us & teaming with us also in prayer this summer! We can't thank you enough for your prayers! Truly, we could not be doing this without the prayer support that has been offered up in our behalf, & on the behalf of those that we come into contact with while down in Nicaragua. =)

We are praying right now that one of Kinch's sisters gets her passport back in time to go on this trip because when she received it in the mail, their was a typo on it, & she had to send it back to get the error corrected. So, please pray that she will get it back in time to still be eligable for this trip!

I am so excited now that I can hardly sleep at night... Let alone get to sleep in the first place! =)

God, please use us in a way that only You could. Please help me to fade away completely so You are the only One seen. Help me to love others as You love them. Perfectly!

Lord, it says in Your Word  that you are doing a good work in me & will continue it till the day of Your return, & I trust that! I claim that. Lord, do a mighty work in my life, in Kinch's life, & in the life of each individual going on this missions trip. Help us to come away with a better understanding of what it means to love, & witness, & bless others. Help us to know You more deeply & personally through this. Bring us closer together as a team, & a family! Break us if we need breaking. Mold us, as we all need to be molded till the very definition of us has everything to do with the fact that we serve & love You. Help me to hear You. Make me quiet before You. Make me to be still & listen. Allow my heart & mind to soak in ALL that You have to offer me. All that You want me to learn about You. Thank You Lord for this opportunity to serve You! I love You, & I ask that You give me strength to show that in all I do & say!!! AMEN!

Obedience

So, God has been doing BIG things in our lives the past few weeks! It's been so long since I've been on. Every time I get on to write, there have been no words coming to me in a manner that might make sense to anyone else.

I finally feel like I have some thoughts placed in somewhat of an organized fashion.

First off, there is NO ONE like our God!! He is BIG! He moves in ways I cannot comprehend, & for that I'm thankful! He does miracles, & He alone can change a heart to love in bigger ways than imaginable.

Second, as a follower of Christ, I am called to GO where He goes in obedience to His leading! This has never been an issue for me as I have never felt called to go into the mission field. So, I guess you could say I've felt safe in my comfort zone.

However, this changed 3 weeks ago when we got a call from my father-in-law with som news that rocked my world. Or at least, my mind! =)

He announced that he, my mother-in-law Wynne, and the girls (my husbands two younger sisters) were going to Nicaragua this June on a missions trip with their church. That WAS big news, but what I wasn't prepared for was the next part.

He went on to ask us if we would want to go.

Uuuuuhhhhh!!!!! Yah, right! Us? Go to another country? Nicaragua?! We can't go to Nicaragua! That was my first response. But, God had bigger plans for us than to stay at home in our comfort zone this June!

I fasted & prayed about going the next day. My answer from God was clear when my husband came home from work the following day.

He said he talked to his boss about going to Nicaragua. His boss goes to our church, but he responded in a way we were NOT expecting. He said "Lets find a way to get you there, but you still need to get paid & we need to still reap the benefit of you working".

He offered the idea to my husband to work some comp days so he could still get paid, & they could still get that week of work out of him. He doesn't have any days to take off till his 1 year anniversary rolls around, so this was an awesome answer to prayer.

So, we are going to Nicaragua, by God's grace & sufficient guidance & protection, we are going to spread the Name of our God among the nations & make Him famous in the lives of more people!

Could you pray for our team? There are 12 of us going. Pray that our hearts would be prepared in this time now before the trip to do whatever it is that God wants us to do while we're down there. Pray that we would be drawn close to our God, & that He would reign in each indiviual life so that our group can accomplish more for His kingdom.         

 *** 2 Thessalonians 1:11-12 " Therefore we also pray always for you that our God would count you worthy of this calling, & fulfill all the good pleasure of His goodness & the work of faith & power, that the Name of our Lord Jesus Christ may be glorified in you, & you in Him, according to the grace of our God & the Lord Jesus Christ."

***1 Corinthians 9:14 "Even so the Lord has COMMANDED that those who preach the gospel should LIVE from the gospel."

Pray that our team would bond.

*** Colossians 3:12-17 " Therefore, as the elect of God, holy & beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, & forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another, even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your heats, to which also you were called in one body; & be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you RICHLY in all wisdom, teaching & admonishing one another in psalms & hymns & spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him."

Pray that our safety would not be an issue, in that God would keep us safe & that fear would not have a hold on any of our hearts or minds.

*** Philippians 4:6-7 "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer & supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which passes all understanding, WILL GUARD YOUR HEARTS AND MINDS THROUGH CHRIST JESUS."

Above all, Pray that the Name of the Lord would be EXALTED above all else!

*** Psalm 148:13 " Let them praise the name of the Lord, for His name ALONE is exalted; His glory is above the earth & the heavens."

Please also pray for the hearts of every person we come into contact with during he duration of our trip! Even people in the airports. And people who don't even come into direct contact with us, but who are affected by our ministry & that of Chosen Children Ministries. Pray that their hearts would be open to Christ's leading in their lives & that they would accept Him. Pray that seeds would be planted & sown with diligence & the love of Christ.

We covet your prayers & know how much POWER God bestows on those who have others praying for their ministry! The power of God is more than we can imagine & I pray God's power into us all that we be filled with Him & know that He holds life in His hands.

God, fill me even now. Prepare my heart to spread Your gospel. I pray all these verses into action today! I claim the truth in them. I pray for others who we come into contact with. Please open their minds & hearts to You. Please allow them to see Your Magesty & LOVE for them! Help us to be a blessing & to be worthy of this calling into Nicaragua. Go before us God. Prepare our way. Sharpen us as effective tools to be used for Your glory. Let every one know that we love You & worship only You, the only God who is alive & is full of POWER!!!!! AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A work in me...

I have been reading in my bible every day for the past couple weeks, which for me, seems to be a miracle. I usually read for a couple days diligently then forget to for a couple of days, then pick it back up again... Not because I feel obligated to, but because I'm STARVING! I starve myself of the nutrients of life! Of the very thing, & only thing, that can fill me up & keep me going. I'm literally starving my soul.

So, lately, my devotions have exploded into an all-out, submersion of my mind & heart that has led to a total abandon of myself, cleaning out all of me & filling myself with all of Him!

Our church is doing the "L3 Journal". Its a year long bible reading plan designed to read & absorb, & ultimately change your life, by reading all of the new testament, plus Psalms & Proverbs. Until now, I had just been reading the alotted amount of Scripture, which was fine, but I just realized I was still hungry & wanting more after I was done with my reading.

Smart one that I am, it took me this long to figure it out, but at least I did... I decided to just open up the word of God & be filled with whatever it was that God wanted to teach me. I want to write these verses down somewhere so I can get them into my mind better & be able to edify others in the process... So, these are a few verses I've delved into!

Romans 12:9-17 & 21 "Let love be without hipocracy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. Be kindly affectionate(devoted) to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer; distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless & do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice, & weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate withthe humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion. Repay no evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

Psalm 62:8 "Trust in Him at all times, you people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us." Selah

Psalm 66:12 "...We went through fire & through water; But You brought us out to RICH fulfillment."

Psalm 68:19 "Blessed be the Lord, Who daily LOADS us with benefits, The God of our salvation!"

Psalm 19:14 "Let the words of my mouth & the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength & my Redeemer."

Psalm 20:13 "Be exalted, O Lord, in Your OWN strength! We will sing & praise Your power."
This Psalm really, Really, REALLY convicted me. How often do I look to myself for power to get through the day? Even once would be too many! God gives me my every breathe... He is so much more powerful than even my small, limited mind & heart can comprehend! I love thinking about & praising Him for His LIMITLESS power!!! =)

Psalm 25:21 "Let integrity & uprightness preserve me, for I wait for You."

Psalm 27:8 "When You said, "Seek My face," my heart said to You, "Your face, Lord, I will seek.""

Psalm 28:14 "Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, & He chall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!"
This is a precious scripture to read right after Psalm 20:13 because you know it's HIS power that He fills you with! What a thought!

Hope this provokes you to think about God in all His glorious ways... To know Him on a WAY more personal level, & to deepen your love for our Creator! I worship You, God!!! These verses are my prayer for today.

Overflow

Tonight was Overflow at our church. One word. AMAZING! Overflow is a time of intimate, authentic worship of our Lord, Jesus Christ by ordinary, broken, fallen people who come together as the body of Christ to do just this one thing... WORSHIP!

It is SO incredibly powerful! Words cannot express how completely uplifting & freeing it is to worship all together in an atmosphere like that. My heart is so full of wonder & amazement & adoration of my Abba.

What a blessing it is to be a daughter of the King! He bestows GREAT & wonderous love on me; that of which I do not deserve.

Father, Lover of my soul, Adonai, Rescuer, Protector, Ultimate Provider, Healer, Restorer, Creator, Righteous Judge, Holy of holies, Completer, Savior, King of kings, Jehovah-Yahweh (divine salvation), Mighty One... My Lord is all of these things to me, & SO much more! These were just some of the names of God that were brought to my mind tonight while worshipping.

Having my mind set on Him brings light into my dark world, my heart & soul. God has reached down & lovingly placed me into the palm of His hand. He's ready to love me. He's ready to load on blessings & benefits (Ps. 68:19). He's ready to guide me & ALWAYS give me what is best. I just have to be willing to surrender all of me to make more of Him... To make His name great... So that He can use me as a vessel in whatever capacity He knows & guides best.

Jesus, my God, I choose to lay down all of myself, all of my desires, all of my pride, & I choose to follow You. Lead me in Your paths, God. Help me to build my life on You. Allow me to go through whatever You need me to go through Lord, that I might love You more through it & make Your name famous, that You receive all glory for Your work in my life, & the lives of others. Thank You Lord, for accepting me. For creating me. For loving me. It is in Your name I pray all these things. Amen!!!

LOVE

I found this today on youtube & was once again amazed at how God works! This parallels my previous post. Take a listen!

I also read 1 John 3:18 today & it says "My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed & in truth."

Have a BLESSED & LOVE FILLED Valentine's Day!!!!!!!!

Life

Okay, so I LOVE waking up with sweet words of encouragement in my heart & mind!

Most of the time I wake up with a song in my heart & get out of bed humming/singing.

It truly makes my mornings much easier to deal with, me being the total UN-morning person that I am! =)

This morning, it wasn't as much a song as it was an artist. This artist has a beautiful voice, strong yet graceful & the lyrics are filled with hope, joy, promises from God... They are so uplifting!

Her name is Christy Nockels.

And through her music & fervent desire to serve the Lord & produce good, wholesome Christian music, she has been used by God to speak to my heart, among many others!

I love worshipping God through music. A song in my heart is a lot of times what keeps me on the right track for the day, as I will continually play it over in my mind.

It also helps me keep my... well... everything in perspective. I am so thankful that God created music to be used as a way to worship Him! What a wonderful, Magestic Savior!

Here are the lyrics to one of my favorite songs... I am always able to refocus my attention & energy onto the Lord when I listen to this song, no matter what I'm going through that day.

Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow...

All your ways are good
All your ways are sure
I will trust in you alone
Higher than my side
High above my life
I will trust in you alone

Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow you
Who you love, I'll love
How you serve I'll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow you
I will follow you

Light unto the world
Light unto my life
I will live for you alone
You're the one I seek
Knowing I will find
All I need in you alone, in you alone

In you there's life everlasting
In you there's freedom for my soul
In you there's joy, unending joy
and I will follow
    
*Chris Tomlin

I hope these thoughts & strivings will be true in my life, as well as yours. Be encouraged today friends!!!!

LOVE WELL!

As Valentines Day is approaching, I have been pondering what it means to love well.

It can mean different things to different people, but I know there is some sort of standard set for loving well... and I believe the standard comes from Christ Himself.

I see that He loved me well when He layed down His life for me.

1 John 3:16 "By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us, and we ought to also lay down our lives for the brethren."

I see that He loved me well when He said He layed down His life in order that I might spend eternity with Him in Glory, even tho I hurt Him by sinning.

His gift of love is ENDLESS!

He shows me how much He loves me by His Words. When I spend time reading the Bible & praying & listening... He blesses me with the feelings of peace, joy, contentment, healing, etc... & makes me feel as though I am literally resting in His arms... being hugged from all sides.

I love being enveloped in His perfect love!

I know the most widely known verses in the Bible reguarding love are found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 & 13, and those verses are often just repeated or read through without much thought, but I want to write them out & live them. They are powerful instructions on how to love well.

"Love suffers LONG and is kind.

Love does NOT envy.

Love does not parade itself.

Love is not puffed up.

It does not behave rudely.

Love does not seek it's own.

Love is not provoked.

It thinks NO EVIL.

Love does NOT rejoice in iniquity, but DOES REJOICE IN TRUTH!

Love bears all things.

Love believes all things.

Love hopes all things.

Love ENDURES all things.

LOVE NEVER FAILS.

And now abide faith, hope & love, these three...

But the GREATEST of these...

Is LOVE."

Love is obviously important. Some of these things that God says love does, is really hard to live out.

It is hard to react in love towards people who provoke you... The natural reaction is hateful. But to show someone love instead can change their hearts.

It's sometimes hard to love someone through pain... But the Bible calls us to do it, because love suffers long. And it NEVER fails. And it bears all things...

I could go on & on, but I will stop myself here & close with this last verse...

1 John 4:19 "We love Him, because He first loved us."

There is no better reason to love others than that reason alone. Over the next couple of weeks, my mind & heart will continue to dwell on these thoughts, & I pray my whole being is filled with so much love, that it will spill out onto every single person I come into contact with.

I intend to love people well in my actions & words, just as I am called to do.

So, don't wait for Valentines Day to love some one well, my friends, I encourage you to love well today.

Love with Christ's love.

Peace

I'm so thankful today that I don't have to worry about anything!
My Savior has taken that upon Himself and commanded that I do not worry about anything, but instead, call upon His name & ask Him to give me peace... I stand amazed in the fact that He has given me such a gift!

I don't deserve to have that feeling of anxiety be released from me, but God wants to take my burden & make it His, so I can have peace within my soul. Thank You Lord for Your love. Your undeserved love for me.

I struggle with the feeling of anxiety. It doesn't take much, it seems, to make me feel that way. Especially when it's caused because of worrying about people I love so much!

When I discovered the verse in Philippians that says "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer & supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God", I cried. It was a huge burden off of my shoulders just to think that the God of this world wants me to talk to Him & pour my soul out to Him & trust Him with it all. He wants me to do this.

This is such an easy fix to a "huge" earthly problem. Thank You Lord for giving me the Holy Spirit to interceed my prayers & allow me to be able to talk to You directly! I love You Father... Your love for me is more than I can fathom.

I feel loved today as I sit in Your presence & allow myself to be released of all anxious feelings. Thank You for taking this from me & making me whole again. You alone, Father, can give peace in exchange for anxiety!

What a beautiful promise You give to me as I read on into the next verse, (Chap. 4 verse 7) that says "and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts & minds through Christ Jesus".

I feel it even now. Ahhhhhh....peace.

This kind of peace truly passes all understanding!

This is the God I serve. Master of all. Giver & Creator of peace!

So many thoughts...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is my first thought of 2011.

Not very creative, or original, but happy. Sad. Inspiring. Hopeful. So many things all lumped into one socially accepted phrase that can be translated into so many things that define "a new year" for any given person.

On this new, ever-developing 2011 year, I have been pondering so much about my life. God is so good to me. I love to go back & re-read my old journal entries from prior years of my life & submerse myself in my younger, more innocent mind. I love to put myself back into the situation &/or place I was in when I wrote those personal notes to myself.

Sometimes, I'm surprised at how much insight I had. Other times, I laugh at my way of thinking & reasoning.

Makes me wonder while writing this blog entry what others think of what I write... Hmmm.

I guess it's okay no matter what. I write about what's on my heart & it's a way for me to "let it all out". I love my blog. It's a form of me. And, the thing I like about it the most, is that I can't lose it! It's kinda hard to lose a desktop computer (which happens to be where I always blog because it's in our guest room & it's calming to me to be in this room).

Life is such a wonderful adventure. Sometimes it feels scary when I'm in a new territory. Thankfully, my Lord is walking right beside me all the way, gently & lovingly guiding me. Sometimes it's completely full of JOY! Those times are so blissful & a way for God to give us a hug. This is when our Christian walk is going so smoothly one often forgets to stay diligent in prayer & starts to wander from daily time spent with Him. ( I am guilty of this) And sometimes, because of our laziness, idolness & sinful nature, we fall into pits dug by Satan when we give him a foothold. And when our reaction is to try to get out by ourselves, the outcome is bleak & hopeless. But when I realize I am a bismal failure & cannot possibly do ANYTHING on my own, & I reach out to God, I see Him already holding out His hand to meet me where I am.

Wow!

What a Savior! He deserves so much more than what I give Him. It's amazing to me all that He has given to me & been so abundantly gracious & generous with.

So, as I enter a new year, it is my "resolution" if you will, to walk more closely to my Jesus. I have such a deep longing to know Him more. I want to please Him. I want to serve others. I want to help others see how much they need Him & how much He desires to have a deepening, growing personal relationship with them, & I want to be molded into someone who more closely resembles the only God worth serving.

In church today, we took communion. The Holy Spirit kept bringing to my mind a passage in in 1 Peter that says "Therefore, putting aside all malice & all deceit & hypocrisy & envy & all slander, like newborn babies, long for the pure milk of the word, so that by it you may grow in respect to salvation, if you have tasted the kindness of the Lord".

Lord, may this passage of Your word be true in my heart today & throughout my life. Let it not be just for the day, or year, or certain length of time. Let it be a permanent condition of my heart & mind. Give me conitnual longing for the meat of your word, God.

So many thoughts...

But for now, these things are prevalent in my mind & heart. Maybe I'm not the only one with these same thoughts, but they are mine just the same. I have so much to ponder today!

And today... today happens to be a beautiful day. One filled with the glory of the Lord. One worth celebrating as God has given this gift of life to me, & to you.

These photos remind me of how big & mighty God is!

And this picture reminds me to enjoy life! =)

A look at 2010

Christmas is QUICKLY approaching. And seems to be a surprise to everyone every year as if Christmas sneeks up on us by changing the date on us all! Haha!

I've been looking back over this year and thinking about all that Christ has done in me & my husband's lives... There is a lot to think about!

1st, we were blessed with a landlord in Ames who wanted to help us out by allowing us to rent month-to-month while Kinch looked for a job & until he found one! 2nd, even through all the job openings Kinch found & applied to, God was faithful to place us in the exact place He wants us... & it has been so evident to us how gracious & loving our God truly is!

3rd, we have been able to enjoy being close to family we weren't as close to before the move! I love spending time with my cousins who are in KC... Family is such an essential to life, I think. I can't imagine going through day-to-day things without the love & support family can offer.

4th, God allowed it to work out for me to work in the fields this summer with Kinch. And even though it wasn't my favorite job, I enjoyed it because of the sunshine & being able to see my hubby for a little bit almost every day while working. And, bonus, we got our biggest student loan payed off! Praise the Lord!

5th, we are healthy! A few colds here and there, but always minor things. So many other people have actual illnesses to be concerned with, & are fighting for their lives everyday, many of whom we pray for... So, we are so very thankful looking back on this year for the blessing of good health!

I could go on & on & on about how blessed we are & even though we do face some hard things & have this past year, like the death of my Uncle Brian, blessings far outweigh all of the hard times.

This year of 2010 truly has brought to light many of God's provisions for us. Thank You Lord! We pray Your blessings upon our friends & family in the year to come as well!

This movie title encompasses all that I feel about this year & my life in general... "It's A Wonderful Life!"

Where has the time gone?

Oh, man! I can't believe how fast this month has flown by! Sometimes I wish it would slow down a little bit! Other times, I want it to go by faster. Either way, it has come to my attention through the sharing of fellowship with a dear friend who was talking about this very thing, that all too often at the end of our lives, we realize how much time was wasted by "wishing away" the precious time here we DO have!

That's a little hard to swallow because it means I have a condition. A heart condition, to be exact. And it's not one that can be fixed by human doctors. No, it's one needing repaired by hands much stronger & much more loving & gracious. My condition of the heart is known as uncontentedness. Not easily overcome, but possible through the love & faithfulness of Christ!

I don't have much time to post more, so I'll close with this thought. I'm thankful for a Father who lovingly brings me to realize the sin I have in my life & willingly forgives me when I ask for it. Please Lord, help me to cherish every moment that you do give to me, & help me to use it for Your glory!!!

A Home For You

Come and make, my heart, Your home,

 and come and be everything I am & all I know,

and search, me through & through, till my heart becomes, a home for You

a home for You, Lord. A home for You, Lord

Let everything I do, open up a door for You to come through

And that my heart would be, a place where You want to be

'Cause You are my portion, filling up everything

You are the fortune, that's causing my heart to sing

that it's amazing that You could make Yourself at home with me

With me Lord, come & make my heart

Come & make it Your home,

and come and be everything I am & all I know,

and search me, through & through

till my heart becomes a home for You.

-Ginny Owens

God has really used this song to speak to my heart lately! It is always in the back of my mind, & I find myself singing it or humming it to myself as I get ready for the day, or while I'm cleaning, or driving... You know. I don't know about anyone else, but music is like medicine for my soul! Actually, I shouldn't say that... I hate medicine. Okay.... Hmmmm. Maybe it's more like that peace you feel after a major storm blows over that produced hail & wind damage & tornados... And you know you're safe! It's like that for me. My comfort.

Sometimes I feel like God uses musicional artists to write a song just for me & I always seem to hear it RIGHT when I need it most! I know that's not entirely true, He didn't just inspire those Christian artists for me, but many others as well. However, there is total truth in God knowing all my needs even before I speak them to Him.

I have a blessed friend who just reminded me about God's love for me recently. She said "Leanna, friend, let God's love penetrate your heart. Cry out to Him. Confess you need it (His love) & Him more than ever. He already knows." And that's the beauty of it, isn't it! He DOES already know, but He desires to hear it from me. He wants that intimate relationship with me that you can only have by sharing what's REALLY on your heart! He. Wants. To. Know. About. Me........From me!

God, that is my prayer! Come & make, my heart, Your home. Come & be everything I am, & ALL I know. SEARCH ME, through & through, till my heart becomes, a home for You!

It is SO freeing to bathe yourself in the unconditional love of Christ!

FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was just looking through some of my pictures today, & wanted to show you some of my favorites of my friends! They, after all, are another provision from God... A blessing!

                                                 Me, my sista & Kailie!!!

                                                           Me & my girl Kimberly

                                                         Me & my BFFB Ryanne

                                                              Me & mom, one of my best friends

                                         Me & my hubby, the greatest friend a wife could have!

                                                                The O'Kelley Sisters!

                                                           Papa bear & brother bear!

                                                         My sweet baby bro, Josiah

                                                         Moms & sisters are the best!

                                               Friends we consider family: Ross & Johanna

                                                         Me & Kristen: Gal Pal's for life

                                       Adrienne, Cassie, Kristen, Kailie, Johanna, Manda, & me

                                                  Hor-Hay!!!!! Also a friend considered family

                                                               Me & my cousin Paige

                                 My wonderful husband & me on our 2 year wedding anniversary!

Proverbs 18:24  "A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."

Thank You God, for MANY friends who stick closer than a brother, & thank You for my family, who sticks close like a brother!

Blessings

What blessings do I have from God?

Answer...

LIFE! Everything!!!!! God has given me life, earthly & spiritually, & has blessed me with a husband who loves Him & loves me! When I was in my car accident Wed, my life was changed. I didn't have any injuries that couldn't be fixed with chiropractic care, & I realized it could have been so much worse.

I realized how precious my time here on earth is. We live but for a moment, & then we are gone. What do we do with our time?

I decided I could use my time in a much more effective way if I used it to bless others.

Okay, how do I do that? What do I have to offer them? These are just a couple questions I began to ask myself.

I have nothing to offer... was my original thought. Then it dawned on me... God! I have God! I just happen to serve the most MIGHTY God, the creator of heaven & earth, of you and me! He did create us to magnify His name. It is our job to be used as vessels to make His name famous! He is my King! He is Holy of Holies!

How lightly I take my comissioning! I have never been one to speak up, or be bold in speaking, but I can use the gifts God has BLESSED me with to win others to Himself!

Why has it taken me 23 years to figure this out? Hmmmm? I don't know. However, I do know that now that I have, I will ask God to show me how He wants me to use these gifts. Lord, please show me the gifts that you have given to me that You want me to use in order to glorify Your name! I have been reading in Psalms lately in my devotions, & many verses have gripped my heart. But there is one theme that has been sticking to me above any other right now; that being the fact that it's NOT all about me. If fact, it IS all about Him. After reading Psalm 23:3 " He leads me in the paths of righteousness, FOR HIS NAME'S SAKE" I then realized, He saved me & leads me not for my sake, but for His! Of course He loves me & wants me to spend the rest of eternity with Him, but He didn't choose to save me from my sin because of me! He chose to because it will allow others to see His magnificense if I then change my mindset & live for Him! It's all for HIS glory, not mine! Oh, how selfish I have been in my thinking all these years. I do not deserve His love & guidance. But I get them because He is a gracious God, full of love, & He saw my need for Him while living in my sin. Psalm 25:11 says "For YOUR NAME'S SAKE, O Lord, Pardon my iniquity, for it is great."

For Your name's sake, Lord. I give You glory. You alone are worthy. It is for You, that I'm living, God. For Your name I will live a life of love & abandone, to You, & a life of service to people. People who need You as much as I do!

Yes I need a Saviour! But I need to remember it's not about me.

This song has been coming to my mind all the while I have been writing this post, so I will share it!

It is my MOST favorite song right now! It catches my attention in whatever I'm doing, & allows me to worship my God, no matter where I am!

 Our God is GREATER, Our God is STRONGER. God You are HIGHER than any other. Our God is HEALER, AWESOME in POWER, our God, our God. And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us. And if our God is with us, then what could stand against us?

So, because He is all of this & more, I choose to glorify my God with my mind, body, soul, actions, words, life! I will not fear any adversaries. We are not to live in fear because according to 2 Timothy 1:7 " God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of POWER & of LOVE & of a SOUND MIND."

So, Lord, I pray Your scripture back to You, that "When You said, '"Seek My face,'" My heart said to You, "Your face, Lord, I will seek." " (Psalm 27:8)

Phone Providers... UGH!

Okay... So, we have just encountered ANOTHER phone provider problem, which just happens to be one of many so far! I will not mention who our provider is, but had to vent & thought it would be better here than to someone directly! It all started with our move to Kansas. I knew I was going to go over my pre-determined messaging limit when I checked my balance a couple of days before our plan renewed to a new month, so I told Kinch & he promptly proceeded to call this company & explain that we needed to add a few more messages to my phone so we wouldn't have to pay extra fees. So, the customer service rep informed us of our options & Kinch chose the plan that best suited my need for more messages. The lady was actually kind & helpful. That was not the problem, obviously. The problem occured when we got our bill today in the mail... They charged us double what the nice lady had quoted us over the phone! DOUBLE! This is just another reason of many on my list to want to NOT give them our business anymore. They just don't seem to be able to get anything right. We have called with questions regaurding wrong billing numerous times, & every time they explain away into the depths of a pit that should be well known to all phone customers & reps... Explaining.... Blaming...Further explanations...Not understanding the REAL problem... Etc,etc,etc! Thank goodness for my husband who can keep himself calm & cool & collected while speaking w/ these people! I don't know what I would do without him. Then, it dawned on me, that I am so much like the customer sales reps that just explain away, going on & on about things that don't even matter & apply, & that God is a lot like Kinch (I'm not saying that Kinch is God) in the fact that he just listens to them patiently & lovingly, all the while knowing that the customer sales rep will eventually stop talking long enough to do exactly what he needed to do in the first place... listen. Wow! Okay Lord! I get it! I have not exactly been the woman you want me to be when I don't take the time to listen to You in the first place. How important it is to listen to God! I ask so much of Him all the time that I often forget to be still in His presence, & just listen; Follow His leading, listen to the Holy Spirit speaking inside of me, praying, asking God to cut out of me anything & everything that is in me that is not wholly pleasing to Him... things that get in the way of me meditating on Him day & night... Talk about an attitude adjustment! So, now I have no other choice than to pray about my imperfections & sins & ask God to renew me, & thank Him for His unconditional love! My spirit can be SO ugly sometimes, so Lord, please cut that out of me. Help me to keep in the fore-front of my mind that You dwell within me. God, You alone can control my mind & thoughts & actions... Give me a renewd spirit today, & cleanse my heart of everything ugly in Your sight! And, thank You for the attitude adjustment. I want to be pleasing to You! I want to be a "lovely thing" in Your sight!

On my mind

Today's blog entry is not really about any certain thing... Just my thoughts. I haven't ever been good about keeping a journal.

 I have been GREAT about starting a journal and promising myself to keep it up, & then proceeding to forget about it & let the journal collect dust. =( So, I am attempting to blog & keep an "online journal", if you will, & a place to collect thoughts, experiences, my quiet time epiphonies, & my life in general instead of dust!

Kinch, my husband, & I have recently relocated to Topeka, KS due to Kinch's job! We are very excited about this new adventure & are happy to place some roots here.

I have joined a bible study on Tue mornings, & so far, I have met & made a few friends & have a newly reclaimed hunger & desire for more of God... More time spent in His Word, more understanding of it, more depth as I read... Just more!

It came to my attention after moving how great my desire is to have friends! You don't realize how important they are in your life till you aren't close to them anymore, whether that be in miles or in heart. I love my friends back home & from high school dearly. But, I came to realize, I need friends HERE!

What better place to meet friends than at church?

No where is better!

So, I'm praying that God will bless my endeavors to meet some ladies whom I can call good friends. Praying I can make myself vulnerable to them & open up to them... I'm not very good at that. I like to keep to myself most of the time, which is NOT at all helpful when trying to make friends.

So, Lord, once again, please work in my heart to open myself up to these wonderful ladies you've placed in my life so that I can have good friendships here in Topeka...

Pretty Poppy

Everyone, check out Pretty Poppy! They have gorgeous, chic jewelry that's sure to go with any cute outfit you sport! I have created a link to their website... They have free giveaways quite often! You'll love their pieces!